"I heard a voice from heaven saying, 'Son, let this woman be a bride to you in the restoration of my people. Let her be a mother for these people, regenerating souls through the salvation of spirit and water.'" (Hildegard of Bingen, Scivias)

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

This Joyful Season Day 1: I Am Not My Own

[Mother], all-powerful and ever-living God, we do well always and everywhere to give You thanks through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Each year You give us this joyful season when we prepare to celebrate the paschal mystery with mind and heart renewed. You give us a spirit of loving reverence for You, our [Mother], and of willing service to our neighbour. As we recall the great events that gave us new life in Christ, You bring the image of Your Son to perfection within us.

Preface to Eucharistic Prayer, First Sunday of Lent

I love Lent and this year is especially meaningful as I take the next step on my journey, and my daughter's, joyfully receiving my glorious liberty as a daughter, friend, and bride of God.

My practices will be, for the first time, this daily blog series, and, for the second year in a row, imprecatory prayer for my enemies aimed toward eventual loving direct confrontation where appropriate. And some better attention to social justice almsgiving, probably focused on sexual violence and sexism as those are the demonic chains Jesus is breaking for me. And some sustained spiritual reading in the book my spiritual director at the time, a wise and loving mother/grandmother, gifted me when she came to visit newborn Katie in the hospital.

I am preposting for Ash Wednesday on Mardi Gras evening at 11 am because, fittingly, my weekly sabbath day--necessarily flexible this semester with college drop off for homeschool maiden a slightly wearing five days a week--will be celebrated tomorrow. I have a breakfast date with a dearly loved college friend and sister in music ministry who just found me online after twenty years and whose loving listening and excitement to see me led directly to the clear discernment, even while just driving toward last week's first lunch, to engage the permananent amicable separation by moving home with Katie to the college town in the Midwest where I last taught.

Tonight was the perfect preparation for the season with three lovely gifts from Sister Spirit. 1) A surprise two hour phone conversation--supremely loving and honest--with my son sparked by concern that he hadn't responded to my Skype message about the separation. 2) A lighthearted dinner with TechEx and homeschool maiden confirming the discernment to leave and feeling the fruits of that coming freedom in no longer having to hate him and reclaiming/discovering a calm and queenly grace in my and our life. 3) Realizing that the gonna-be-brilliant conference paper proposal I was trying to finish for tomorrow was just not going to happen--and that the gift of another conference with a shorter word count and two additional weeks on the deadline would work equally well. Which means I can take that sabbath and really take time to embrace myself in Her loving arms.

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