"I heard a voice from heaven saying, 'Son, let this woman be a bride to you in the restoration of my people. Let her be a mother for these people, regenerating souls through the salvation of spirit and water.'" (Hildegard of Bingen, Scivias)

Thursday, March 2, 2017

This Joyful Season Day 2: Washerwoman God

For you are Washerwoman God: we know you in the water.
Washerwoman God: splashing, laughing, free.
If you didn't clean the mess, where would we be?
Scrubbing, working, sweating God cleansing you and me.
Make our hearts as white as snow, wash us through and through:
Washerwoman, let us be like you!

Little known, awesome song by the awesome Colleen Fulmer with a joyous take on God's passionate Mother love and determination to cleanse our hearts and mind and world of all that harms us and others. It should be sung every Lent and at every baptism, as it was for a life-changing (for me too) 18th Annotation baptism in Lake Michigan I mentored a brilliant beloved directee through. (Can't wait till be finish the joint article: "Rolling with Washerwoman God: A Queer Crip Chick Reclaims Baptism.") My faith group of friends discovered it in college and Katie and I belted it out on the way home from a magical shopping trip capped by a marvelously fast and easy emotional negotiation/education in which I absolutely embodied compassionately and clearly challenging Washerwoman God and she absolutely embodied a loved and loving and eagerly repentant child of such a mama.

She and I simultaneously figured out during a muuuch tougher one in the fall that she got her Dad's Aspie in the genetic lottery, as her brother got my bipolar 2. (Totally neurodivergent and proud family, though it's possible that Rachel or Julian are neurotypical--we won't know till we see them in heaven!) It's another huge reason God called us to homeschool high school/early college, though we didn't know that when we started.

It helps her self-manage the social anxiety and interact joyfully in safe contexts, and is crucial preparation for her vocation to doctoral work in psychology as well as her present and future relationships. It gives us countless hours to bond even more deeply and to teach and process and deepen her emotional intelligence and communication skills--already better than many adults due to both her natural gifts and being raised by me. Her integrity, passion to learn and engage healthy behavior, and deep gratitude rather than resentment and bitterness when I call her to it is a total contrast to his resentment and unwillingness to engage the slightest bit of emotional labor and self improvement. So it is profoundly validating that his is an abusive choice to do evil rather than a natural result of his gender and/or diagnosis and that my discernment to part ways for my own emotional protection and hers is absolutely from the Holy Spirit and the passionate faithful sacrificial--though certainly imperfect--living out of my vows as he has chosen to trample on his.

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